Are There Benefits to War?

Are There Benefits of War?

Jennifer Marcenelle, MBA, BSN, RN, HNB-BC

Doctoral Student I-MD, Ph.D.

I recently discussed the damage and trauma caused by military invasions and war efforts with a colleague. As a political refuge from Afghanistan, my esteemed colleague expressed his concern over the catastrophic war efforts taking place in the Ukraine. He raised the question, “how could something so terrible happen to innocent people?” His question is valid, compassionate, and heartfelt.

As a licensed clinician, Board-Certified Holistic Nurse, and doctoral student, I have first-hand and professional experience working through extreme trauma and the complex PTSD (cPTSD) that follows. Invasion and catastrophic war efforts presented in my life in the form of an unexpected and devastating divorce. Per our verbal pre-nuptial agreement, I filed for an amicable no-fault divorce, expecting it to cost about $2500 and be over in 61 days. One week later, I was ambushed by a lawsuit seeking $1.2M plus any ridiculous fees his attorney could dream up. At this time, he still expected me to pick him up from the airport after a golf outing with his family and friends.

This legal ambush was the first in a long series of wartime efforts, including fraud, deceit, stalking, and extortion. Let’s just say that over the next two years, I learned a lot about the mental illnesses of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Psychopathy (P or Anti-Social Personality Disorder).

What could have been a peaceful separation turned out to be a catastrophic wartime effort wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars in community property, destroying relationships between everyone involved, and bringing me to the brink of a nervous breakdown and physical death on more than one occasion.

Freedom is Not Free

This statement may come as a surprise, but now that I’m entirely on the other side of my divorce and building the life of my dreams, I can see clearly. My divorce is one of the best/worst things that ever happened to me.

Why? I had critical lessons I had to learn:

• There are times when fighting fire with fire is necessary for your survival
• No one (even my attorney) can or will defend me until I first defend myself
• Never do for someone else what they should be doing for themselves.
• Ending co-dependent relationships is a very messy process
• I was not wholly innocent.
• I had to take responsibility for my side of the relationship.
• I had to learn what a healthy relationship is and develop one.
• Spouses or family members with mental illness can exhibit exceptionally harmful behavior.

My divorce was a dramatic, potent, and nearly life-ending experience. It was also necessary. I simply had to learn to free myself from the prison of my own making. By entering into a co-dependent relationship, I’d focused all of my love, attention, creative ability, and finances on making the other person happy.

How else could I have learned that a co-dependent relationship is NOT making a healthy relationship with genuine love and mutual freedom?

“To See Further I Must Stand Higher” – Chinese Proverb

     If you’re going through the same thing, do not despair. It isn’t your “fault,” and there is hope. There is not only hope, and there are resources available to help you help yourself through this event to another side, where your whole new life awaits you. Yes, you may lose all that you hold dear. I lost my home, furniture, artwork, all of my money, culture, and identity. As a refugee, all I had left was what I could fit in a single hotel room where I holed up for years while recovering and rebuilding. Like many other abuse victims, you may have to relocate and start anew. I can tell you this; I’ve done it. My clients have done it. And so can you.

If you are dealing with a similar situation, there are a few things you should know:

• Advanced Psychotherapy may be necessary to extract yourself from someone with NPD/P
• The mental, emotional and spiritual damage from a complex divorce is far more damaging than the material and financial devastation.
• Multi-dimensional energy healing support is most likely crucial to your survival and recovery.
• Be patient with yourself.
• You didn’t create this situation overnight, and you won’t be able to clean it all up overnight either.
• True healing takes time.
• You can’t do this yourself and there is no shame or weakness in seeking professional assistance.

As a licensed clinician and private practitioner, I’ve experienced that Dr. Korotkov is right when he said that no person ever comes out of a traumatic experience the same. If we use our trauma as an opportunity to deal with our past and truly heal, we can become entirely new people operating, much more robust and wiser (Korotkov, 2014). My colleagues and I agree the key is to seek out and develop your multi-dimensional healing team (Korotkov, 2014; ACEP, 2022).

For free information regarding NPD/P, I recommend watching some of Dr. Sam Vaknin’s YouTube videos. Dr. Vaknin is a world-renowned, leading expert in NPD/P who helped me survive my divorce and provided the formula I now use in my private practice with my clients. Click here to view Dr. Sam Vaknin’s work https://www.youtube.com/user/samvaknin

If the practice of Energy Psychology (EP) is new, you can rest assured that EP includes evidence-based, scientifically supported modalities that significantly impact anxiety, depression, trauma, and cPTSD. To view the growing body of scientific evidence supporting EP, click here  https://irp.cdn-website.com/d7d8897f/files/uploaded/Science Behind Energy Psychology Summary.pdf.

To find a list of EP practitioners, you can visit the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology directory here https://www.energypsych.org/practitioner-directory

If you’re interested in Quantum Healing, you can learn more about our annual International Congress here https://www.sis-congress.com/

Or, if you’re interested in working with me and my unique EP approach, you’re invited to book a free consultation. Contact me through the above directory or Email Jennifer@BurnBrightToday.com with the subject line: REQUEST FOR A CONSULTATION. We’ll schedule a 20-min Zoom to determine if we’re a good fit for each other and discuss the details of doing so.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this final quote:

“Success is Not Final; Failure is Not Fatal.” Winston Churchill

Whatever warlike situation you may find yourself in now, you can get through this. Find the help you need and keep going.

And remember – You’ve Got This!

References

Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (2022). https://www.energypsych.org/

Korotkov, K. (2014). Energy Fields Electrophonic Analysis of Humans and Nature, 2nd Edition, pp 68-92, 100-163, 168-170.